Like pretty much everyone, I have a long list of things about myself I wish were different.
I struggle with my weight. My voice is annoying. My skin is too sensitive. I have a shitty attitude. I’m always in some kind of pain. I’m lazy. I’m hypercritical. I don’t try hard enough.
I wish I were kinder. I wish I were smarter. I wish I made more money. I wish I were awake.
Self-defeating thoughts run through my head like a broken record. Ugh, there’s another one: I’m getting so old.
The part of me that fears I’m getting cocky or complacent — the part of me fighting for survival — is always going off about all the things I need to change. And there’s quite a few.
But the other day, as I was repeating these beliefs to myself over and over, I heard this other tiny voice and decided to listen. It asked, “Yeah, okay. But what do you LOVE about yourself?”
I was in the shower at the time, but since I have my trusty Aquanotes, I was able to capture what I heard. I didn’t even have time to consciously answer before something else inside me took control of my hand.
Luscious beautiful hair
Ability to think on my toes
That’s all I allowed to come out before I went back to washing my (apparently awesome) hair. But I took that paper with me, and it’s been on my desk staring at me since.
More things I love about myself I want to add:
My humility (some of the time)
My perverted sense of humor (all of the time)
My commitment to truth
Sentimentality without attachment
Fearlessness (not being afraid of being afraid)
Tiny nose piercing
Ability to be hard or soft
Openness and devotion to Fredrick
Longevity and resilience of my relationships
Commitment to empathy, even when I fail
Commitment to consciousness, even when I fail
I hope there’s more, there probably is. [I’ll add them here as they come to me.]
And of course, now as I think about publishing this, I’m questioning myself and wondering what everyone who reads this is gonna think. But if you know me, hell, if you know yourself, you know I’m not sitting here trying to congratulate myself.
I’m trying to elevate myself — and that’s gotta start with how I think about me.
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Will you do me a favor? Tell me some things you love about you.