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If Not Now

In my July contribution to The Pastry Box Project, If Not Now, published on the eve of my 32nd birthday, I share my lifelong struggle with seeking approval — and that perfect intersection of readiness and permission where everything seems to click. When I turned 30, I suddenly had this realization that I was officially [Keep Reading...]

Who Do We Think We Are?

In my April contribution to The Pastry Box Project, Who Do We Think We Are?, I share my frustration with the rampant intellectual bullying I have observed in our community, and how I’ve overcome my own tendency to contribute to it. Now we’ve all heard the saying about the cobbler’s children having no shoes, and [Keep Reading...]

Searching for Space

In my March contribution to The Pastry Box Project, Searching for Space, I share the story of why I left NY to find what I was looking for, and how I eventually found it within myself. My heart started racing. My palms got sweaty. I couldn’t breathe. I felt faint. Out of nowhere I screamed [Keep Reading...]

Awakening to Buddhism

I’ve been a Buddhist my entire life — though I didn’t know to call it that until recently. I made a career out of reducing human suffering. In 2002, I was called to Human-Computer Interaction to reduce the suffering caused by technology, the result of a lack of mindfulness and compassion in the design and [Keep Reading...]

Where Compassion is Born

An excerpt from my dialogue with Paul McAleer on our podcast Designing Yourself, Episode #9: Embracing the Suffering (originally aired October 1, 2013), with minimal editing for readability. The things we don’t like in others are the things we don’t fully understand. It’s a sign we haven’t gone out of our way to develop empathy [Keep Reading...]

Nothing is Permanent but Change

No man ever steps in the same river twice for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” — Heraclitus We talk about change as though it’s something that happens once in a while, we’re “going through a period of change,” as though it isn’t happening all of the time. Change is [Keep Reading...]

Going back to the cave

John J. Locke, in a comment on Where in the World is Whitney? San Diego posted January 16, 2014. I can relate to “going back to the cave” to regroup and reinvent yourself. Life is a series of stages. We never *really* know what’s going to happen next, although we try to plan it. I [Keep Reading...]