I Am Not A Woman Blogger

You’re absolutely on target. More than anything else, we should encourage “BlogUs”

“Lots of women can write, read, and think. We don’t need to be congratulated.” Well said.

What makes more sense is qualifying the type of blogging you do. Your blog focuses on user experience so you are a “user experience blogger”. Who cares if you’re a man or a woman? Do women blog about usability so differently that it needs a qualifier?

Answering the call for male perspectives, here are my thoughts on this:

I completely agree with you. The only difference gender makes here is perhaps the perspective in which blog posts are written. A woman may view certain topics different to a male, but even then there will be women who agree with men and vice versa.

It’s definitely unfair to celebrate a bunch of bloggers because of their gender, the content should be all that counts.

Whitney,

Like Matt, I only have two statements to make:

1. Labels are overrated, people that willingly label themselves are definitely out of touch with reality, with themselves and with society. Why do I make such a broad statement and how can I support it? Well – I make it because I’m on the internet and I can say (write) whatever I damn want. And how can I support it, you ask? That’s easy – BlogHer is only for women, that – in itself limits you. You’re no longer a blogger at a conference – you’re a woman at a women ONLY blogging conference of sorts.

2. People who label themselves, willingly and can’t understand that we’re so past that stage in life – where you should KNOW that regardless of what people say, you TAKE what you want and when you need it. And that you don’t let anyone keep you down, well then they are plain retarded.

And just for kicks and giggles, and to throw some qualifiers – I comment as a Dominican, dark skinned – most of the time confused as a “black man”, a Computer Engineer, an Artist, a Designer, and a Hispanic, who tries his luck at being a User Experience kinda person.

Wake up.

Ahh the wonders of Identity Politics.

Is the “Woman _______” identifier a political, organizational, practical , socially impressed suffix?

BlogHer is, of course, much more a “moms blog” network than a “woman” blogger network (Parenting is their focus in ad sales materials, you’ll find). Women, then, end up sharing information, stories, etc, of being a mother. And, while mothering is a similar experience to being a father, there are some practical reasons to share information just as mothers (“Which breast pump chafes the least?” is a too easy example).

Now, of course there’s much more to being a woman than the possible designation of “mother,” and BlogHer is there to cover that too (only 58% of their readers are mothers).

But, regardless of the identity and the role they’re playing in society, I generally have no object to coming together in self-identified groups and talking about common issues of that identity.

Would it be a bad idea for Jewish bloggers to meet and talk about Jewish issues? No. Just don’t meet about other stuff and use Judaism to leave people out.

In this sense, BlogHer is a win for me. Women’s issues are discussed by women who self identify as women bloggers. Now, if that energy was direct to other activities (i.e. singling you out for NOT being there — “traitor!”) then I’d feel differently.

But no. BlogHer seems to be largely productive and inclusive. Can’t ask for much more from a group lead, fundamentally, by identity. All too often that’s not the case.

Hi Whitney. Thanks for your thought provoking post. I read it early this AM and sent you a few twitters. Let me take a moment to expound on my thoughts (140 characters is definitely not enough for this one).

I just spent the last three days @BlogHer. It was a great experience. I am working on my review in the next day, so be sure to keep an eye out. As you know, I go to many tech conferences, and it was truly unique experience to be at one where the majority of attendees were women, not men. While there are a lot of mommy bloggers in attendance, the event itself spans multiple verticals. In fact, there was a great panel on women without children and how they navigate that identity in the business world and in the blogosphere. While that issues doesn’t come up on InternetGeekGirl.com specifically, I can tell you that as a 37 single woman, it comes up in my personal and professional life BIG TIME. That’s a perfect example of how BlogHer content uniquely spoke to me both as a woman and as a worker (which is a goal of the show imho).

I totally get that your comments are not directly at BlogHer. And my response is not meant to be a defense of the event (or any conference). [NOTE - i'm not affiliated with blogher in any way]. I would merely like to argue for the VALUE of identifying as a women blogger.

“Because no matter how you slice it, a qualifier is a limit.”

Some people find qualifiers to also be the building blocks of community, and I don’t find that limiting. Of course, all communities have their draw backs, but the benefits usually outweigh the costs. Otherwise, why be a member?

My first reaction to your post was sadness. I feel I have let down the younger generation. This conversation we are having (as nate pointed out) is the basics of identity politics. I was deeply involved in that world early in my career. We used to argue about the word feminist. Well, it’s basically the same argument, in a different context.

BTW – I AM A FEMINIST and always will be!

All I can say Whitney is that as woman in business (albeit 13 years older than you), I have seen this issue from all sides. I had many male and female mentors in my life. I do not solely identify myself with any one community, nor does my gender drive my career. I have always done exactly what I’ve wanted to in life, and always will.

For me, the bottom line is that I have benefited much more than I have given to the “cause.” So many women have walked before me in biz and fighting for social justice. I never want to forget those women and I always want to encourage the younger generation of women to keep up the good fight and stick together!

It is great that your mentors pushed you to be the best you can be. No qualifier. I can assure you that if it weren’t for their female colleagues and the way in which they pushed the limits and forged new ground.. you’d have no where to use your fabulous skills.

Women still struggle for equality across the board. Sexism is rampant in the business world. By continuing to identify together and help each other, we can only hope that girls 13 years young than you will have even more opportunity.

Play with the big boys all you want. I do! I love it. But I also know that by embracing the experience of being a woman blogger and sharing knowledge, content and experience with that community, I will play more effectively, and be more likely to achieve success!

As for @dingman’s comment about a BlogHim. We have that already my friend – it’s every other tech conference.

so – hope this makes some sense. I’m sitting in a coffee shop in San Fran and rushing from one big boy meeting to the next. :)

I’m a woman blogger. I’m a woman in business and I damn good at what I do.. regardless of what you call me.

Thanks Whitney.

Best,
Stephanie

I totally agree with you, Whitney. I also agree with Stephanie, above, to some extent. I think there is a difference in generations with regards to this country’s view on gender, race, etc. issues. I was raised to view everyone as equal, regardless of all that, and now I find people who are 10–15 years older than me insist on perpetuating these distinctions.

The fact that these distinctions (a conference just for female bloggers) exist means that the problems and struggles faced by the earlier generation haven’t gone away, and if that’s the case, I’m in support of anything that helps those struggling to succeed and overcome the challenges.

Certainly, I don’t want people to treat me any differently because I’m a woman. Something about these distinctions make me think people are saying, “That’s a pretty good idea… for a girl.” And that bothers me.

Thanks for this post, Whitney. I love your honesty and the clear, engaging way you write.

It’s an interesting post to read as someone who (like you) never had any limits placed on her access to learning or work… all the possibilities were there. I had to hustle for it, sure (my family wasn’t able to help out, though they believed in my ability to do anything I wanted), but it was there for the taking.

On the other hand, I also know a lot of women (including my contemporaries, mentors I’ve had, and young women I’ve mentored) who didn’t have the same kind of access, either because of cultural traditions, economic restrictions, or the fallout from difficult relationships in their lives.

I guess I was never placed in a situation where I needed to connect with other women specifically for support or comfort or a leg up — I just had great friends of both sexes, and we had our community and our fun and grew up together.

When I started blogging, I also wasn’t part of a particularly female community — I was blogging at Salon, and we had both sexes writing up a storm. Everyone likely would have designated themselves a feminist, but equality was just a given.

But on the other hand, I could also see women popping up across the blogosphere (apologies for using that word) who had never had the opportunity to speak honestly about their lives. Women who had never had solid community and the support of female (or male) friends and colleagues in following their dreams and establishing their careers. Women who were raising families or setting up lives with little or no “village” around them.

Having a public forum was revolutionary for them.

I think something like BlogHer appeals to me because I see how exciting and motivating it is for so, so many women. I think it might not seem integral to me, because I’m aiming my own career at a publishing world that may or may not care about my gender… but mostly cares about my ability to write stuff that sells.

But I think if I wasn’t blessed with fantastic friends and supportive parents, or if I had a career that had a specifically female audience or demographic , or if I’d ever had to crack my head on a ceiling, I’d find it pretty damn irresistible to be there.

I love that it is such an encouraging experience for the women that go — and that’s why, even though I always just think of myself as a blogger and not a BlogHer, I’m intrigued.

The speakers and attendees are some of the smartest, strongest women running around out there, and I’m sure I’d be humbled to learn from them and spend time in their midst. They’ve created and achieved things I’ve never even approached in my own work.

So I might head there in 2009. Along with lots of other conferences. One more perspective and dose of inspiration couldn’t possibly hurt.

Ahhh… love the topic.

Way back in the day (“the day” being the late 90s and early oughts), I got to speak at a local Web Grrls meeting on “Flash & Usability”.

Funny thing, too…

I had the worst time getting onto their mailing list, to participate in discussions, even though they had no charter that strictly forbade such a thing.

I never understood why, with the exception of my obvious front-view differences, that it would matter, when I wholly supported their initiatives.

See, I’m okay with “BlogHer” and “WebGrrls” and “Gay Pride” and whatever else you want to throw out there.

Those labels are important to the people who need them and they’re also helping people who may have been / were / are in some sort of minority status (and the status of who / what, etc. that are in minority status these days… blech) and when I throw on my IA hat, well, I’d probably search for something like…

Women Bloggers
Women on the Web
etc.

I don’t know the realities, and frankly, I’m not going to go look them up–but there does seem to be a difference between the number of men and women in the field.

I could be off on that. Maybe it’s my (mis)perception.

But there are a ton of “women/minority-owned business” organizations out there and the events I’ve been to seem to be a little dude-heavy, so you know…

Just saying.

I’m okay with the label–and I’m okay with you not being okay with it.

Some people look for such groups and some people choose a path differently.

Both types of people are cool in my book and I’m glad that both types are able to find something that fits.

I’m a woman, white, mixed-European ancestry, middle-class background, college-educated…all of those demographic characteristics influence how I’ve experienced life, how people interact with me and so influence the content of my blog.

YOU are not the label (there is too much diversity among any category) but there is no such thing as an objective, bias-free point of view. No one voice represents the views and interests of any community, there is no “woman’s point of view” any more than there is a “man’s point of view” or a “white point of view”.

Labels suck but they do reflect the categories that strangers put us into. Once people get to know you as an individual, you transcend the demographic categories you are a member of and become unique and dimensional. But to those who don’t know us, we are, to them, what they judge us to be based on our exterior, our words and behavior. Unless you can completely erase your gender, it will be an influence in how you act and how others view you. No one is uninfluenced by gender any more than anyone is aracial.

I’m not saying that what I’m arguing against is the point of view you present in your blog entry, you just raised some challenging questions that have been part of an ongoing debate in gender studies.

Labels ARE artificial constructs but that doesn’t stop the most people from ascribing labels to other people and treating them based on those labels.

Me, I’m more bothered by the use of “woman” as a modifier.

Man blogger. Sounds funny, yes?

Then why is woman blogger OK?

Female! Male!

Alas, for some reason, woman is the accepted usage. And William Saffire won’t even back a sister up.

Anyway, BlogHer…well-intentioned but misguided, in my humble female opinion.

The qualifier always hurts the cause.

Be awesome, and people will see you as awesome. I cringe when I hear about the “first black astronaut” or “first female CEO” or “first hispanic Rhodes Scholar”. It is awesome enough just to be an astronaut, CEO, or Rhodes Scholar!!

If one wants to blog about women’s issues, or how women fit into the workplace, or motherhood – great. All legit topics. But just do it as a person, not as a woman. Semantics – But everyone outside the qualifier judges it differently.

I read this morning that an article about BlogHer was in a newspaper’s Fashion section. That might say it all. Appearance is the connotation of society.

Hi Whitney! Great post and some well-thought out responses. Sorry I’m so late in the game for adding my 2 cents. I must say that five years ago
I would have written a very different response.

I grew up with five very strong-willed sisters and a dad that was very adamant about us being very capable of doing whatever the hell we wanted- even trained my sister to be a plumber like him.

I had to fight for everything I ever wanted, but it was due to financial reasons. I never felt any limitations because I happened to be female. In fact, I thought being the only woman in the room or the program gave me an advantage. I had the viewpoint that limitations other women felt were fantasy, and only due to their fear of putting themselves out there and trying.

Then I graduated college and got out into the workforce and felt that glass ceiling HARD. I think at that point I was in utter shock that it actually existed. I was a naive 21 year old.

I used to shun “women only” groups as I felt like they were doing themselves a disservice by crying “female!” like it was a weakness. As I got older I realized there are many common challenges and stigmas we face and it was good to have a “safe” forum to discuss these things openly. I did join Women in SCS at CMU and attend Leadership classes for women, and I benefited immensely from these more focused discussions.

I don’t think we’re at the “everyone is equal” stage yet. Sexism is alive and well. We aren’t living in a label-free world, but I do think we can choose which labels to self-identify with. I used to shun “woman”, now I embrace it.

As a side note, being in Germany for the last 6 weeks has made me realize how far we’ve come in the states. Do you realize there are “women only” parking places here (frauparkplatz)- near the door like disabled spots? What kind of message does that send?

I did not know Germany was that far behind us in women’s equality. I’m not sure if it’s the schools I chose, or the type of work I do, but I still haven’t felt that limted by my femaleness. Instead I often feel pushed back because I look much younger than I am. People are often surprised by my age and once the reveal is made, their attitude toward me changes and suddenly they treat me as a genius (that’s an exaggeration) instead of a naive novice. It’s like they suddenly start listening when I’m over 30 instead of under 25.

So for me, it’s an agism issue. I’m still not set on wearing suits to look older but wondering if that would help solve the problem or if I should just wear a nametag that says, “Samantha – 32″.

Hey Whitney,

You may recognize me as your former housemate from Beeler house. I found you via Twitter.

[I was one of 30 women in a freshman class of 135. (The graduating class before I got there had more Daves than women — I shit you not.) Boys frequently came by my dorm room to see if I needed help with the homework. Not because I asked them, but because they assumed I needed it. They were wrong.]

Don’t I know it, having been from that same very freshman class as you. I had a male friend accuse me of having finished my homework assignments quicker than him only by batting my eyes at guys to do it for me, when I had completed them on my own. I was so mad that I made him sit in the room while I worked on the next assignment. I finished it in just a few hours. He then took the next two days to finish the same assignment and received the same score as I did.

[The thing I’m struggling with is the woman qualifier. Is a woman blogger someone who writes about women’s issues, or simply someone who has a vagina?]
[I’ve asked myself that same question. Do I sound different in the way that I write? Do I bring a female perspective to design and usability? Do I evaluate like a girl?]

I struggle with this as well. While I agree with you on the first point, for the second point I do think I bring a different perspective as a female. My blog focuses on technology from the point of a female software professional. In almost every professional situation I’ve been in, I have been the only female programmer. At my last code review, I received compliments on my coding style, commenting, and efficiency. The only negative remark I had was on my development environment; I was told I have too many colors in my syntax highlighting, which looks very feminine. You can tell I am a female developer by my choice in tech accessories, the stickers on my Macbook Air, my white iPhone, etc. I do like to emphasize that I’m a female. Just as you were stating, males assume females are not good programmers simply because they’re female. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m female. I don’t want to be one of those people who hides behind their first initial when writing so people don’t automatically discredit them for having a female name.

[I never had an interest in joining a sorority, never belonged to Hillel or Women@SCS.]

I’m a sorority girl (Alpha Chi Omega), but I found this more of a way to interact socially with females than as a statement of any sort. As you’ve pointed out, most of our class was male. I was tired of complaining about boy troubles to males (who would volunteer to beat them up, but that’s about it). Women@SCS, on the other hand, I actively disapproved of; advising females to take easier classes to get better grades is completely backwards.

I think where I differ from you is that I like organizations that encourage both males and females to realize that all the negative societal beliefs of inferior females in science and technology are not true, while organizations that are created under the assumption that females are weaker and need to bond together to become stronger and help each other reach the potential of men are completely bollocks (whereas it seems that you disapprove of both types of organizations).

Ever pick up Maxim magazine? It's topical for men's issues. Same concept. Not a limitation. Just topical relevance.