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Why iHate This iPhone

As told to me by my good friend Leo Campbell of Mount Vernon, NY, a manager of a storage facility and an all-around nice, normal guy. Anything I’ve put in quotes are golden nuggets of truth right out of Leo’s mouth.

1- Touch screen keyboard. He can barely type. His “fat fingers” always hit the wrong keys.

2- Keyboard is overly suggestive. “It’s like my high school English teacher. Let me write what I wanna write. You worry about not wasting battery power.”

3- File structure is too rigid. Can’t move files around, can’t organize while sitting on the subway, can’t group like items together.

4- Can’t send pix messages, can only email them. He wants to send a photo he’s just taken to a friend who doesn’t have email on their phone, so he can’t.

5- No flash on the camera. “They could have put a light on this. I don’t care what they say.”

6- No copy/paste. “What the hell is that?! Copy/paste is the fabric of our lives. It’s like duct tape.”

7- No games. Can’t download them, can’t play them. Again, doesn’t help pass the time on the train.

8- Can’t send text messages to multiple recipients. “You know, New Year’s midnight. I gotta send out each one individually? Come on.”

9- Can’t attach files to emails. Can’t send the song he just ripped to his friend. “Why can’t I send my own shit?”

10- The only way to get all the good stuff is to crack it, and he doesn’t know how. He knows a guy who has a ton of games and apps on there, and the home screen very slickly shifts horizontally to reveal more icons. So I ask, “How’d he crack it?” Leo’s response: “White boy on Google and a dream.”

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